The Strength to Love Well

For me, being in a (good) relationship is the hardest thing in my life. And I believe I’m not alone in this.... (haha yes I believe at least David agrees with me 🙄)

Like it or not, we all have a fairytale idea about relationships. Being ’swept off your feet’, ‘deeply in love’, ‘feeling cherished’ and ’understanding each other without words’. Ok let’s be honest it’s BS and far away from our daily struggle to share a house and bed with our so called loved one. 🌷

There is a big difference between Romantic love and True love.

Romantic love is what you feel when you are ’in love’. Wearing your rose coloured glasses, being both at your best behaviour, with an amazing, abundant sex life and butterflies 🦋 in your belly. Life together is good for as long as you can stay in love... but you can’t and that’s when most relationships fall apart.

True love can come once romance has faded... now the real work begins. Because what is a relationship other than being confronted with your own limitations and pushed out of your comfort zone by having to deal with your partner’s limitations? Be honest, how often do you feel your partner is responsible for your mood, for making you feel better? But is that his/her job or yours?

It has taken me a long time to realise that in a relationship you can grow beyond how far you can grow by yourself. Often this is through discomfort and self-confrontation. You are each your own person on your own path, but with a similar aim for the world. You confront, support, motivate and stimulate each other with loving kindness, to each reach your full potential.

True love is based on trust and selflessness, allowing the other person to grow, without grasping for the security of the relationship.

May we all find the strength to love well.